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Gift Guide for Dad’s

Best Dad Gift Guide EVER:

  • Daniel Wellington Wrist Watch:
    • Why?  Daniel Wellington is one of the top brands of luxury wrist watches.  It’s timeless, streamlined, classy, & it’s perfect for any minimalist businessman who doesn’t want nor need added distraction on his wrist.  A lot of men’s watches, today, are meant to be “statement pieces.”  “Manly jewelry,” if you will, but, at times, a flashy watch does become a distraction, so every man needs a great, classic watch.  A timeless watch (you know what I mean) should be considered “standard” for every mans wardrobe.

  • Cologne:
    • Why?  Because every man needs a signature scent.  These following selections were all listed in several men’s magazines…ahem…ahem…GQ, I did the research….for “best men’s fragrances for 2016.”  Enjoy.

  • Java One Touch Espresso Machine:
    • Why?  Because it’s the Rolls Royce of coffee makers.  It’s also one of the most ridiculously priced home appliances I’ve ever seen.  So, if Donald Trump is your father, then I’m sure he’d want this.

  • ThermaCELL Lantern:
    • Why?  B/c Forbes Magazine said that Dads would want this.  lol  Basically, it uses advanced technology to ward off mosquitos.  If your father has a lakefront property, enjoys BBQ’ing, sitting on the patio with a cold beer, tailgating or fishing/ camping, then this is the item that is practical.  This is the item that he didn’t know that he’s always wanted.  Plus, your mom will thank you.

 

  • Any gift that will actually make him “THE Grill Master”:
    • Why?  B/c a lot of guys call themselves “The Grill Master,” but it’s only b/c they know how to cook food…& b/c you bought them an apron with “The Grill Master” embroidered on it for last Father’s Day; However, that doesn’t make them the “Master.”  One can call himself a “Master” when he can create an EXPERIENCE that is SEAMLESS for himself & his guests.  If your dad is constantly searching for his BBQ tools every time he goes to grill, then that means that he is not a grill master, b/c he just ate into the time that he could be spending having a beer with his family & guests.  So let’s go over some things that I’ve selected & why.
    • Branding tool:  Why?  B/c I’ve never been to a BBQ where the “Grill Master” has actually branded the steaks with his signature tag line. THAT my friend…would make your dad not only thoughtful & special, he would also be “The Grill Master.”  Even if the steaks he cooked sucked, every guest would remember the “Grill Master” branding the steak.
    • Thermometer:  Why?  Well, has your dad ever said, “The heat from the grill will burn off the germs.  It’s fine.  Just eat it.  It’ll put hair on your chest?”  Then, gross.  There is no reassurance that the chicken won’t be raw.
    • Oven mit:  Why?  B/c it’s multi functional.  It’ll save his hands from getting burned by the tin foil around the corn on the cobb & baked potatoes.  An Oven Mit also serves as a barrier between the table & hot plates that your father consistently hands to you to manage after he’s finished “grilling.”
    • grill cleaner:  Why?  B/c you have to.
    • Drink Coolers:  Why?  B/c no one wants bloody raw meat transported next to their drinks & veggies.  It always grosses me out when I’m at a tailgate & a dude asks if he can store his Kroger bag of raw steak & chicken in a communal beer cooler.  A Kroger bag ISN’T going to earn your dad a “Grill Master” title at a tail gate.
    • NFL branded Serving platters:  Why?  b/c it’s a cutting board & a serving platter…& the sports logo makes it manly.  Why, again, you ask?  Let’s ask Uncle Logic to replay his typical banter with the typical “Grill Master.”  “Oh, kind sir, you want me to try a piece of steak…that you just cut with your pocket knife…on the raw food plate?  Ehhhh…I’ll be right back.”
    • Picnic coolers, wagons etc:  If it has an NFL logo on it…then consider it manly enough for a man to own & carry.  Why does a dad need these things if all he has to do to consider himself a grill master is cook?  B/c he’s not really realizing that he’s not a “Master”….& that everyone else is handling the hard part, which are the details, of the BBQ.  Here’s my point:  If your dad is the “grill master”…then why does the lady always have to lug all of the heavy materials in a picnic basket?  Want the ladies to carry 10 plates up 3 flights of stairs…& then make 30 trips for the condiments?  “Thank’s, grill master.  That was a lot of work.  Would you like to give me some math problems to finish, as well?  Would you like for me to carry the dirty dishes in the picnic basket, that you don’t have, back up the stairs?  Wow…this BBQ is so fun.”
    • Grilling utensils in a kit:  Who wants their utensils flopping about and poking them during transport?  Better yet, who wants to keep up with them after they have been used?  Get a really nice case for your dad, so he can easily clean it after he transports the dirty dishes back home from the tailgate or BBQ.
    • Grill Cover:  Listen up…please help your dad out by replacing his grill cover.  We all know that most men have issues washing their hands.  How do I know this?  I’ve heard men utilize the rationale “Oh…the grill will burn off the germs.”  Gross.  Now, who wants their dad touching a dirty grill cover, & then cooking their food?  Better yet…who wants their dad to have an allergy attack as they are taking off their grill cover, getting their nice Tommy Bahama shirt covered in pollen, sneezing into their cook’s hand towel, & then cooking your steaks?  Yeah…me neither.  Plus, you’r dad’s backyard/ patio will look nicer & more inviting.  It’s always confuses me when I glance over & see a ratty BBQ cover abreast a grill, right after a dude has bragged about being the “grill master,” & has offered to cook for me & his guests.  Replace the cover for your dad.  The grill will look well cared for & your dad will have eager guests when he is ready to rock & roll.